I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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