Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
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