Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
