I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
