i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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