Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
