officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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