I don't think brook has ever known best
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Dicks are not precious.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize