pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize