I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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