u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
When are your genitals available?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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