is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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