I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
