The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
