i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
