I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
