i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
