he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
