Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
