I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
