that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
