I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
