Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
No subtext here. People are naked.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
