oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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