sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
