I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
