I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
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