Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize