lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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