About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
