just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
