I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
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