if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
