I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
im on a boat
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