We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We have started to decorate penises.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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