I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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