After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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