when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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