Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
