I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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