how hairy? two words: wookie tits
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
