Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
