I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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