you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
