...so i touched it.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
