i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
