I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
she peed on how many people?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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