sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
