You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Come on in and take your pants off
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