Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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