WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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