shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
