You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
