He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
