So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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