Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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