how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Holy sore nipples Batman
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
