can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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