There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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