so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
