I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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