We should be called the Road Head Warriors
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
