We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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