Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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